YOU'RE A MOM?!?! (ep. 2)
Summary Professor Del Astra's class is not over yet. Diane is distracting the professor while Sypher is still smiling. Heath's barf joins a bucket of lard, mold and suchlike Eon is trying to make sentient. He calls it Chuck. Eon is definitely a trash witch@ImpInMyHead, in chat, called Eon's peculiar kind of magic Garbomancy. @PatrckStatic approved.. Ezra wanted to cast an Enthusiasm spell; she changed her mind when the barf happened. A chime rings: end of class. The professor prepares for the next class; more fay dust cleans up the room. The witches have three hours to lunch and enjoy a break before next class. Outside the classroom, Ezra bumps into Ziggy, a smug, casual student with band stickers on his spellbook. She drops her books to save the potted plant she is carrying but only manages to catch the pot upside down: the plant falls down. Ziggy is too surprised to react; shocked, even. He does manage to say: You're good, sorry. Eon is in the vicinity; he could try and save Ezra's plant by supersliding on vomit, if he chose to — which he would, for trash — but right now he is still waking up and happy with his puke. Ezra starts chatting with Ziggy, mentions the alarms she slept through''NftE'': My notes are not detailed here; I only have Ziggy's What are alarms?, asks if he was supposed to be in this class. Probably, he replies, then asks: What are alarms? Ezra offers her definition: It's like music that you don't wanna hear. Sypher asks: Like Taylor Swift? Eon, still excited, thinks Sypher won't guess what I got. She does — trash. The vomit reminds them there was cornbread for breakfast. Ezra is sorry she missed it, but still won't have the cornbread puke Eon kindly offers. Eon will save it for later, then. Ezra wants to go study on the field, which is her favorite places because it is neither inside nor silent. There are gorgeous. gleaming pegasus statues everywhere. The group walks towards the tracks where sports such as wandolin, broomstick, pegasus polo and wizardball''NftE'': wizardball is a reference to this show on GeekSpaceTV. racing take place. The track for pegasus racing is in the clouds. Ezra throws a wizbee at Eon, yelling Let's study! It hits him in the rib; he hurts, feels weak and crawls toward the nearest trash can. Seeing this, Sypher finds a place in the shade to hide. Ziggy starts playing with Ezra; he tries to hit her in the head with his wizbee. She is better than him at this game: she turns, grabs the projectile in the air, yells Gooool!''That's not how you play., and throws it back. It's all so fast that Eon is still crawling when it ends. Ezra is ready for the next throw and very excitedLauren compared Ezra to a puppy in this situation.. Ziggy is too cool for this normally, but keeps playing. He is soon distracted by something flickering in the sky: ''What's that up there? Ezra, still focused on the game, keeps following the wizbee in Ziggy's hand. The dome-shaped shield above them shimmers in one spot. Ziggy wonders whether they should be concerned. Eon, now jacuzziing in the trashcan, wonders if it's trash. Ezra lays out two possibilities: either riding pegasi without permission to investigate or going to the teachers instead. Eon makes it a competition: he'll give a special prize — namely, an old, shiny, silvery trophy with an unused gold nameplate — to the first of them coming back. At that moment, a paw tries to grab said shiny from his cloak. Ezra doesn't agree Eon has the authority to the idea the wizbee champion. Besides, she just wants to go tell a teacher. Sypher, who wants some fun, asks: Why don’t we go first? Ziggy adds that They won't know if we take a pegasus. Ezra feels that the others will be upset if she goes to a teacher but still tries another argument: What if it's a bad thing happening? Sypher counters that they don't know if it's bad. Eon will only go if he finds a dirty brown pegasus, not one that will clean him. Ezra knows one such pegasus, one that nobody rides: it is grumpy, has a patchwork body; it even pooped on a student, once. Eon goes to this pegasus. It spits on him; its spit is pretty gross, pretty bad; it shakes Eon off when he tries to hug it''NftE'': The pronoun him was also used. I stuck to it for clarity.. This donkey with wings is just that, a donkasusNftE: I’m not sure if donkasus refers to a species, or this particular pegasus has been called Donkasus after its behavior.. Ezra asks a pegasus to take her up; it ignores her until she uses to politely whinny her request. The pegasus shall think about it, depending on what she offers in return. Ezra offers a cupcake — which turns out to be a bad oneAs decided by Lauren herself. These cupcakes were introduced in ep. 1. —; the pegasus licks it and ... isn't interested. Sypher brings one of the good cupcakes: the pegasus will take her. Eon pulls the rotten sandwich he was going to have for lunch and offers it, as politely as he can, to his special pegasus, which knocks it out of Eon's hand. Eon wonders What’s wrong with you? Ezra translates why the donkasus is not happy: What is this filthy garbage? Eon remembers that pegasi are vegetarian; maybe it didn't like the meat sandwich. He opens up his bag again and grabs a shiny fake golden apple he stole from his parents' beautiful house years ago. It looks like a real apple, maybe enough so to fool a pegasus. Phillis tries to grab it. The pegasus shuffles, makes a ton of noise: What is this monster you brought in my stall? Eon shoves his brother back into his pants. Then he shoves the fake apple in the pegasus's face. When the pegasus bites on it, Eon yells: What did you do? He didn't think it was actually going to eat the apple and he is really angry. The pegasus spits the apple — minus the bite it took from it — at Eon, who puts it back in his pocket. The pegasus starts flapping its wings: He's poisoning me! Eon takes this as a no and walks out. Ezra reassures the pegasus: It's gonna be fine; you're not being poisoned ... take a deep breath. She is not too convincing: Don't touch me, filthy human child! Sypher comes over, starts talking from one grumpy person to another. The upshot: they should leave, let it go. Sypher tells Ezra what Eon did to anger the pegasus. Ezra conveys to Eon's victim that We're sorry, grumpy, before walking away. The pegasus mumbles about today's kids lack of respect and complains about the junk apple that tastes like hard concrete. This grumpy pegasus is decidedly a donkasus. Seeing that Sypher, at this point, is the only one who has found a willing pegasus, Ezra — still under the effect of Zoolinguistics — yells that she just needs two more of them to help the group out, and then the group will leave. Ziggy charms a pegasus with a song, despite Eon's negative vibes regarding his method: he's got himself a ride. Ezra apologizes to the one who brought her here and convinces it that it will be super fun. The pegasus winks and says: Let's go! Ezra neighs back that: We'll be so much cooler than they are; it's gonna be great! They trot out of the area; the pegasi leap into the air and start flying. They don't let the kids steer them; instead, the three pegasi led by Ezra's start racing around the track, up in the air. From this higher position, the witches see a break, a tear in the magical dome up there. At any rate, it looks off, it doesn't look like anything they've seen before. Obviously, this is still new for Sypher. Ezra and Ziggy see there is more to it than just a hole; the dome itself is a different color than it's supposed to be, but just around the edge of the hole. Ezra soon forgets they're supposed to be doing something. Every time they're getting closest to the hole, Sypher takes a drive-by picture. This race is not what Sypher signed up for, though; she contemplates teleporting, via a piece of tech — namely, her laptop — to another piece of tech. She renounces because that would mean leaving her valuable laptop-cum-spellbook behind. She hangs in there for the duration of the race. The pegasi stop after fourteen lapsWhich is the number Lauren rolled on her dice. Lauren adds that Normal pegasus racing is on a longer track outside the dome''; they have to compensate for it.. Ziggy's is the winner, followed by Ezra's and Sypher's. Sypher is a smidge dizzy after the race, and gets off the pegasus as soon as she can. Fortunately for her, witches don't do this very often, and usually only during pegasus class. Sypher reports she has pictures. ''Of what?, Ezra asks — Of the tear. — Of course. Thus reminded of the purpose of their ride, Ezra suggests they put the pegasi back to their places and go to a teacher with the pictures. Eon saw Ziggy win: And our winner is Zigzagger! Ziggy takes the prize, which Eon filled with special trash — wrappers and stuff — to make it shiny. Ziggy feigns pocketing it, drops it and wipes his hands on his pants. Eon sees what Ziggy does, hears the clink-clink and smells his stench attached to the prize. He is not happy. Did you just drop that? It warms Eon's heart when Ziggy says he has just been littering, as Eon would. Eon gives him a hug; Ziggy tries to pull him away because of the smell. Phillis comes out of Eon's pocket, dances around the two, jumps on Ziggy's head and then back on Eon's hat. Eon picks Phillis up and puts it back in his bag, whispering Thank you. Eon smells so much like garbage that you can taste it, like a landfill. Seagulls even circle Eon, picking garbage nearby''NftE'': the second sentence is Lauren adding flavor to Mggie's already odorous description.. They always try to take his crap, and he has to fight them away. They could even eat a prey as big as Phillis. Eon takes back the trophy. He is ready to eat the horrible sandwich the donkasus rejected. Ziggy feels like vomiting after Eon's hug. Sypher opens her laptop and casts a spell she calls to try and identify the spell that caused the tear based on one image she took, à la Google Image Search. Instead, what happens is that the image on her screen starts to change until it looks like there never was a hole there. Meanwhile, Eon has not had an opportunity to see the pictures, nor has he asked to. Holding his sandwich with pieces of trash, he announces Lunch time! He has started eating and he looks happy. Sypher tries, and fails, to stop the change: No, this is bad! She shows the fully reverted picture withthe regular old bubble of the dome: It's gone. Ezra, back from returning the pegasi to their stalls, wonders why Ziggy looks upset like he's gonna vomit and Sypher is angry. Sypher answers both inquiries: Ziggy was hugged and the picture is gone. Eon only knows that Sypher is upset about the sky. Sypher doesn't know what's messed up but she's pretty sure it's bad news. This is more proof, in Ezra's mind, that they should definitely tell a teacher. Sypher agrees. They will have lunch first. Eon takes a bite on his fairly newly rotten sandwich which is so much better because it has just a little blue mold on it. He flicks it and a morsel flings in Ezra's direction. Ezra, sweaty and smelly from the race and pegasus friendship bonding time, will change and meet them at lunch''NftE'': as @ImpInMyHead put it in chat: You smell like donkasus. Go change.. The school's cafeteria is always open. During meal times there is a buffet. It's a prestigious school, so it's gorgeous. The beautiful tables have intricate carvings on them, little runes; they hover and have no feet underneath them, so you can't hit your knees on anything. The seats are beautiful cushion pillows that float up when you sit on them, so you sit perfectly at the height that you need: it's very comfy for everyone. The chandeliers sparkle and twinkle. Plates go, floating on their own, from person to person; they open up for people to pick stuff. Sypher, who comes from a haunted school, is freaked out at first: this would have meant evil ghosts there. It doesn't help that Ezra thanks everythingIt was remarked that Ezra is not there at first, because she went back to her room to change clothes., even though it's all just a magic spell. It makes Sypher wonder if the plates are haunted, evil; she feels very nervous about the whole situation: why doesn't anybody care? Eon wants to do the "Green Touch" again during the meal: he sits at the table, takes the pot with the seed and plunks it in the jar that is now almost full of barf, which has already started fermenting. Phillis crawls down, sits at the table, looks at him. Phillis puts its face over the top; there is crust above the jar. Sypher sees Phillis's magnified eyesHere, Phillis is described as a black rat. According to Ziggy/@Bhaalist in chat, The rat was white when he got it.. Eon apologizes to Sypher about the Green Thumb spell and asks if she remembers the words; he doesn't want to be mean about brushing off what she said. Sypher replies,unhelpfully: Hocus pocus, or something. Eon actually wrote the spell down on his spellbook, but the trash now on it makes the part after Reap and Sow illegible. The "sheets" of his spellbook/pizza box are a bunch of the kind of mats on which pizzas sit. As such, they are greasy, which Ziggy finds pretty rad. Eon writes on these mats, that are specifically not made for that, using a purple and a green sharpie that he carries. Eon tries to cast Green Thumb again; the jar gives him a bonusHere, Lauren says: This is layers of disgusting. . Eon casts dramatically, with a lot of gesturing. He puts a third of the lard and barf from the jar''NftE'': I'm not sure if this is technically chuck. There is more about chuck and not-chuck later, in episode 3 if I remember correctly. into the pot. The jar starts shaking; the moldy stuff in it with a nasty smell starts sipping in and slowly going down into the potted plant; the soil starts turning speckled white and brown rather than just brown; up grows a plant; it doesn't look like it's supposed to be: its stem is pale white, it grows up, it wilts a little bit, out grows a little bud, the bud itself is a strange green and white speckled color, it's just a bulb, not fully standing up''NftE'': this is what partial success looks like.. Eon is so happy; he puts it in the jar, inside of chuck, and just leaves it there: he wants to keep it fermenting within the same smell. He displays it to Sypher, who finds it wonderful. Eon scoops back the nasty stuff that fell from the jar on the table. Sypher thinks aloud Maybe I need a creature/familiar thing — but not Chuck''NftE'': I'm not too sure about capitalizing Chuck. It may make sense to write Chuck when emphasizing what Eon wants the mixture to become, and chuck when it is used as a thing.. Phillis climbs up on the side of the pot, looks over it and flicks the plant, which jiggles a little bit in response. The plant looks alive to Sypher, and therefore it needs a name. Eon thinks of naming it after the mean pegasus. He needs Ezra to remind her of its name. This is when Ezra joins them; the cafeteria is relatively close to their dorms. Ezra takes a floating pillow and thanks all of the plates that come to her. Eon proudly shows her his giant jar of lard with the tiny little plant in it. He explains that he did the Green Thumb again, and shoves the uncorked jar in her face. Ezra's first reaction, unsurprisingly, is Eew! Then she remembers that she dropped her plant and it probably died. She feels bad about that. It's not clear to Sypher that they were supposed to keep their plants. Ezra replies with an ; she thinks Sypher can get it next time. All she has to do is Think about plants like computer networks; they are connected to everyone; you just have to give them the right inputsHere, Lauren makes it clear that Ezra doesn't know what she's talking about., you’ll get the correct outputs for your plant to grow. Ezra's speech works: Sypher now feels confident and competent, she'll get a +1 bonus on her next attempt at Green Thumb. Maybe something that Ezra made up sounded like real computer stuff. Sypher nods; the fact that Ezra tried means a lot to her. She doesn't smile and just says OK, I'll try. Ezra continues: You totally got this! Eon adds his own encouragement. Sypher is ready to try now, with a watermelon seed. Ezra reminds her that fruit is precisely designed to be a growing medium for seeds. Eon offers lard on a spoon he grabs on the table. Sypher is ready to rub it on her toast. Ezra offers device: Don't do that! It is rancid. Eon clarifies it's for the seed; it helped with his plant. Sypher butters her toast with the lard and prepares to take a bite. She puts the seed into the bread insteadHere Lauren repeats that growing a plant in it is the point of a fruit.. It grows; it looks similar to a plant she's just seen grow: a white stem, a green and white-speckled bulb; it bobs a little bitAnother partial success.. Phillis licks it and bites into it. Sypher doesn’t stop it. Ezra squeaks out to stop Phillis because she likes animals and this can't be good: Don't do that! That's a terrible idea. Phillis stops for a moment and turns to Ezra; Why not? Because it's made out of poison. How do you know that? Ezra points at Eon. He's not made out of poison; I've licked him. And you lived? Eon, curious about the pointing and the squeaking, offers more lard. Phillis leans back, paws on thighs: Yeah, I'm alive. Ezra insists that this plant doesn't look like food, and grew in something you don't grow plants in, like the plant in the jar. Phillis would lick that one too if Eon opened the jar. Then, Ezra realizes people food is different from rat food: All right, go for it! Phillis adds that, according to Eon, they can eat everything and The world is our oyster. But a lot of oysters will kill you!, is Ezra's last argument. Eon grabs the bulb with the bread; he's gonna eat this bread. He shakes Phillis off it. Phillis looks grumpy, scurries off until Eon gives him a little bit of the bread. Sypher is devastated that everybody is trying to eat the only thing she's been able to grow in her entire life. The bread smells and tastes like vomit: it's good to him. The plant doesn't look healthy, so Eon will eat it ... except that, as soon as Eon bites into it, the bulb opens up; teeth spread out of the sides of the petals; a hole in the middle squirts a nasty spray — a purplish black mist — over him: everyone in the area smells this disgusting smell; they all either throw up or gag. Sirens go off. People book it. Eon likes the smell: Phillis, smell! Phillis likes it too. Eon puts the plant in a makeshift pouch; it's like cologne. Ziggy is vomiting on the side of his pillow. Sypher tries to keep it down: she's friends with Eon, she's used to it. He is her best friend. Still, she gags, she throws up a little bit put keeps it in her mouth and swallows it. Ezra, very absorbed in her conversation with Phillis, is oblivious to the smell. When the rat says It smells so good, she asks: what smell? ''Then she has a dry heave onto the table: ''That's the worst, most disgusting thing I've smelled in a long time. She apologizes. Eon retrieves puke. Ezra makes up a spell to change people's perception, so that they think the smell is not actually that bad. It's the opposite of You can do it!; it's an internal pep talk to convince yourself it's not as bad as you think it is. It could apply to bad grades, or break ups. Ezra calls it: She casts it, feeling bad about Eon. She gets up and says: You know what? It's not thad bad. Her voice rings loudly through the purple cloud of smelly smoke emanating from their table. It's fine. The spell is a success: everybody agrees it's fine. The people rushing out stop for a moment: maybe it's not that bad. Still, the smell is still there and the relief is only momentary; Ezra's goal is just to keep everybody calm. Eon adds to Chuck: the jar is almost half full. Ziggy cleans off his face and tries to get over the fact he's hugged Eon. Sypher sums up the situation: that was the weirdest lunch. Creatures that look like bats — with bat wings and almost bat faces — come from the ceiling and zoom into the smelly cloud. The whirlwinds they create in front of them, from their mouths, suction it all in. Sypher has heard about these creatures before; they are called batcuum cleaners''NftE'': Spelling mine. @RandomTuesday wrote in chat: BATCUME cleaners!; people use them to clean, to suction up dirt and things of that sort. Their many abilities also include cleaning the air. Sypher assumes that these batcuum cleaners, which are now swirling around and cleaning up, are part of the school's janitorial service. When they are done, they disappear into the ceiling again and Ezra waves them goodbye. Ezra reckons that, as this happens whenever there is a mess, Sypher and Eon may see them a lot in their room ... except that Eon had Sypher turn off the vacuum cleaning stuff in their room with a digital "Do not disturb" sign: their room is now missing in the service log. Ezra doesn't understand: But they're friendly. Eon disagrees: No, they are not. For Sypher, that's a matter of perspective. Ezra uses echolocation to talk to the bats. Unfortunately, My bat is a little too dolphin. I get my echolocation animals confused. Eon and Sypher don't need Ezra's help with the bats. In the end, Eon didn't eat the plant. Still, the whole situation makes his obnoxious; he says it tastes like chicken. Sypher trusts whatever he says. Ezra won't try for herself: No, I'm good. Still, Ziggy casts — My Hero from the Foo Fighters starts playing — to make her brave enough to tryAnd Lauren agrees to it.. It helps that she is Ziggy's best friend; and Ezra doesn't want to upset Eon, who's just said it tastes like chicken. Besides, it is for science. As Ezra, feeling empowered, grabs the toast with the lard and the plant that already has a giant bite out of it, Ziggy walks away. The flower opens up again, and hisses at Ezra; its mouth squirts the same smoke as before, like a skunk. A little pus comes out: it tastes like vomit, not like chicken. Ezra still wants to stomach it and eat the whole plant but takes it out of her mouth when it starts screaming. You're alive?, she asks. Then, she doesn't let Eon take it away from her: No! I'm talking to the plant, it's my friend. Meanwhile, the smoke is getting everywhere. While Ezra tries to reach out to the plant, Sypher almost throws up again and the plant hisses and squirts smoke gain. Ezra is not happy: Bad plant! No, stop! As Sypher's motherly instinct kicks in for her plant and Eon still tries to grab and eat it, Ezra has to rely on her athletic abilities to hold on to it; she is even willing to kick Eon. Sypher is the one eventually smacking Eon out of the way. Ezra clarifies she's not going to eat the plant herself because it is talking — screaming, even. Sypher reckons It's kind of cute, or something. At this point, with the fight over it ended, the plant is silent. Ezra manages to talk to it, using a new spell, . Their discussion relies on telepathy rather than actual sounds. The others only see Ezra making a face when she asks: What's your name? Don't hurt me!, comes the answer. Ezra asks it to stop making a disgusting smell. She accepts it's reasonable for the plant to protect itself from being eaten and apologizes for trying: I didn't know you were alive. The plant turns toward Sypher and exclaims: Mom! Then it points at Eon: He tried to eat me. Asked to stop releasing the stink in exchange for being put back in the pot and handed to its mom, it opens its petals a bit, closes them, opens them again and agrees: Yeah! Ezra turns toward Sypher: Congratulations! It's a plant!NftE: I love this line so much that it alone justifies this detailed recap. She hands the plant to Sypher and adds: You're its mother. The plant says Mom! again. Sypher can't hear anything it says. Ezra keeps filling Sypher in on her new responsibilities: I think it needs water and possibly insects. The plant is aware that Ezra is whispering about it. The watermelon can hear her, too.And Maggie finds it weird to play plants and discuss plants's moms. Eon uses a metaphor for the care the plant needs; it's like a website. Eon's Chuck is the dad., or maybe it's Eon himself. Sypher, meanwhile, feels really awkward: I've never made anything grow ever. Her baby''NftE'': This word was used later, when Ezra hesitated between sibling, spawn and baby, to Sypher's utter dismay. disagrees: She made ''me grow.'' The closest experience for Sypher was the school assignment of taking care of an egg. Ezra congratulates her again: Mazel tov! Ziggy, who got around the corner to avoid further squirts sees Sypher holding the plant and Eon raising Chuck's uncorked jar and shouting: I'm a dad! Eon doesn't look as cool as he thinks; he just looks crazy. Lunch is almost over now. Next class is Professor Jacobo's, in fifteen minutes. As the plant keeps calling Sypher Mom!, Sypher — who'd like it to Stop saying it! — has to take care of it. Ezra suggests she put it in mashed potatoes from their lunch, because it's like dirt, especially after Ezra mixes it with actual dirt. Eon, confused that Ezra is trying to copy him, explains that mashed potatoes won't work, unlike lard. Sypher moves out, the fastest the others have ever seen her. She plants the plant in a flower bed, using a pencil to dig a hole. That's where it deserves to be. There it can grow up among plant friends and Sypher will come take care of it every day. As she goes away, the plant keeps shouting Mom! and tilting in the direction she went. To the plants nearby it explains: Mom left me. Eon goes drop off Chuck in their dorm room. Ezra finishes eating. Weren't they supposed to do something during their break? Ziggy tries to remember the bad smell of the plant's smoke and capture it in a spell he calls . The goal is to recreate it at will. His partial success causes a little smell to seep out, even though he was not trying to cast the spell right now. Ezra, seeing him gag a little bit, asks if he's okay. Ziggy mutters a response about controlling that smell. Ezra, who really tries to be on time at Professor Jacobo's Advanced Alchemy class, arrives first of the group''NftE'': hence this comment by @ImpInMyHead in chat: Ezra is on time and the teacher thinks the clock is broken.. Sypher will be a tad late because of her mom problem. Eon can be just on time because the class is close to their rooms. Ziggy will arrive as late as possible to this science class. The part of the school where this class takes place looks different. The stone bricking constantly shifts around, like puzzle pieces, as Ezra is walking down the hallway. The room has an archway in lieu of a door; two chandeliers hanging off the sides are figures holding candles; holsters with reagents hang on chains below them. There is a giant furnace to the right; it is big enough for twenty kids to put stuff in it. Ezra feels the heat of the fire's blue flame. To the right of the furnace is a stairway going up; as the students aren't allowed in that area, Ezra has never been up there. To Ezra's left are two tables big enough to sit ten students each, rather than the more usual desks for two. Along these tables are banks and burners, vials and weird contraptions. The dark room is lit by little lights flickering in little sconces along the wall. There are also tons of books along the walls. Other kids are already seated. Sypher arrives next. She looks around and sits next to Ezra. She has dirt on her hands. Ezra, meanwhile, is getting her stuff together; this class stresses her out more than the other classes do. Sypher opens her laptop gingerly and watches Ezra. Sypher likes Professor Jacobo best because this humorless jolly fellow — real boring, but real nice and real happy — has no sense of humor. As the clock tower rings, Eon arrives. He sits next to Sypher and close to the door. The class is about to start, and the group has not properly dealt with the weird school stuff yet because of the weird plant stuff. Notes Category:Recap